Translating A Typical Marriage Fight

What was said:

“Did you remember to feed the dog?”

“Of course I did. Can you just trust me to remember to do this stuff?”

“Why are you shouting at me?!”

“I’m not shouting.”

“Yes you are!”

“No I’m NOT! And stop nagging me!”

“Well you forgot to feed the dog last week! Or did you forget that you forgot about that too?”

Translation:

“Honest question?”

“Affirmation. Annoyance at frequency of this question.”

“Misconstruing tone as anger. Accusation that you are shouting.”

“Denial.”

“Affirmation in the form of shouting!”

“Denial in the form of shouting! Complaint about something that really doesn’t bother me, when what I really want to complain about is the frequency of sex!”

Argument continues until:

A) One person storms out and later on both parties act like it never happened.

B) One party gives in, not because they think they’re wrong but because they’re tired of the argument.

C) Child / pet / phone call interrupts fight and later on both parties act like it never happened.

D) Sex.

This thing will happen more and more frequently as the male in the relationship realizes that conflict resolution is his best chance at sex.