Teaching Ethics to People using Anthropomorphism (TEPA)

November 2, 2009 at 10:12 pm 1 comment

Sarcastic

Now we all know that the best way to brainwa teach children about the importance of animal / human equality is to make them see animals as intelligent sentient creatures.

Now I know many members at our sister organization of PETA have been insisting that children should be exposed to cute and cuddly animals a t young age. However we at TEPA know that htis is an inherently bad idea. All this does is give children a realistic view of animals, which isn’t conducive to becoming an animal rights zomb activist in any way! What we need to do is promote early childhood exposure to animated talking animals.

What better way in teach kids that animals are just like them, than to lie to them about how intelligent and self-aware animals really are? And if we can get them into furry porn, then that’s even better! They’ll be animal lovers for life, when they’re more interested in porking pigs than eating pork.

So here’s a list of accepted pro-animal propaga children’s entertainment films for you to show your kids on their way to becoming life long animal lovers:

Ratatouille
Stuart Little
Finding Nemo (Warning, avoid Little Nemo! The squirrel in it is only a pet and it therefore supports animal oppression!)
Charlotte’s Web
Planet of the Apes (Bonus points for showing Humans as the stupid evil hell spawn that they are, and that they should all be killed, the wasteful little vermin)
Anything with Mickey Mouse
King Kong (Best movie EVER!!!)
Chicken Run
Daisy Duck Wants To Quack Ducky Style (A true marvel of Japanese animation)

Also, please buy GEICO insurance; that little gecko is SOOO cute… (and in the *wink wink* sort of way too.)

And of course Aesop’s Fables is a must for all early childhood education (except for the one’s that portray some animals in a negative light.) Now go listen to “Colors of the Wind” for a few hours; it will make you feel good inside.

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Entry filed under: Evil.

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Kilroy del Dancefighter Estallion the First  |  November 11, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    I’m not sure that the danger of metaphors is as significant as the danger of, just as an example here, progressive ideology.

    As a side note, some animals are intelligent. Humans, for example. Also dolphins.

    Reply

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