Celebrities Are More Important Than You

July 1, 2009 at 4:16 pm Leave a comment

Sarcastic

So how did Michael Jackson go from dark skinned to ghostly pale?  Two words - Sham-Wow!

So how did Michael Jackson go from dark skinned to ghostly pale? Two words - Sham-Wow!

Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays, Michael Jackson, what do these people have in common? Unlike you, they mattered. Some people think that it’s the scientists, the engineers, the people who build, invent and discover things that really matter. Chances are these are lonely intellectuals who are trying to validate their own pathetic existences by lying to themselves.

We all know who really matters: celebrities. When I want my kids to learn important life lessons, do I teach them myself? Of course not. I’m not important, so I let situation comedy stars like Leah Remini do it for me. Celebrities are the only people who really matter because they’re the only people really worth trusting. And if two celebrities disagree, just remember the O-rule. Oprah Winfrey is ALWAYS right.

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Entry filed under: Good.

But Who Has The Time? The Lamest Propaganda Ever

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