Herman Cain, I Choose You!

Rumor has it, he's weak against ba-Rock type.

“A poet once said, ‘life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it’s never easy when there’s so much on the line.’”
- Herman Cain

That’s right Herman Cain, you tell them! Here, you deserve a rainbow badge for that one! Really who can blame you for wanting to be the very best, like no one ever was?

Vote Herman Cain for President in Pokemon 2000! Legalize rare candy! At least one Republican candidate believes in evolution, but only if you have a moon stone!

Redefining Hostility, Redefining Torture

Compare what’s happening now:

To what happened under Bush:

Change you can believe in my ass.

Translating A Typical Marriage Fight

What was said:

“Did you remember to feed the dog?”

“Of course I did. Can you just trust me to remember to do this stuff?”

“Why are you shouting at me?!”

“I’m not shouting.”

“Yes you are!”

“No I’m NOT! And stop nagging me!”

“Well you forgot to feed the dog last week! Or did you forget that you forgot about that too?”

Translation:

“Honest question?”

“Affirmation. Annoyance at frequency of this question.”

“Misconstruing tone as anger. Accusation that you are shouting.”

“Denial.”

“Affirmation in the form of shouting!”

“Denial in the form of shouting! Complaint about something that really doesn’t bother me, when what I really want to complain about is the frequency of sex!”

Argument continues until:

A) One person storms out and later on both parties act like it never happened.

B) One party gives in, not because they think they’re wrong but because they’re tired of the argument.

C) Child / pet / phone call interrupts fight and later on both parties act like it never happened.

D) Sex.

This thing will happen more and more frequently as the male in the relationship realizes that conflict resolution is his best chance at sex.